Zantac Lawsuit


Researching drug company and regulatory malfeasance for over 16 years
Humanist, humorist

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Goldilocks, the Untold Paxil Story





I wrote this back in 2011 and think it's worthy of a re-post.

It's a modern day version of a tale we are all familiar with - it's also something we should all pay heed to - when reading you can substitute 'Paxil' for any other antidepressant currently on the market.

**WARNING** Contains profanity.


Goldilocks and the Three Bears...A 21st Century Perspective


Once upon a time there was a little girl called Goldilocks.

Goldilocks was 10 years old and had been diagnosed with a mental disorder, her inability to stay awake in the classroom and consequent poor marks meant she had been deemed as having GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The school psychiatrist said that Goldilocks was "stressing" about things at night and not getting enough sleep, this would often result in her falling asleep during school lessons. He prescribed her Paxil, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor [SSRi] but it didn't agree with her, in fact she became suicidal whilst on it. Later, her psychiatrist switched medications, opting instead for Cymbalta. She was to take her dose just before she went to bed at night.

On the morning of May 20, 2011, Goldilocks had decided to "bunk off" school. Her morning had started badly, her parents had been arguing again about money, her father was pissed off at her mother because there was no food in the cupboards, this meant Goldilocks had to go without breakfast. She left her parents house hungry and sought solace in the forest adjacent to the family home.

It was around about midday that Goldilocks felt severe hunger pangs, these were increased by a sweet smell in the distance, she knew immediately that the aroma drifting through the forest was that of Porridge and she was certain she caught a whiff of maple syrup too. "Yummy", she thought as her little legs carried her toward the sugary delight.


The Bear family were rushing around that morning. Mummy Bear was panic-stricken as she had run out of her medication, ironically that medication was Paxil. Baby Bear looked on in horror as he saw his mummy anxious, agitated, shaking violently and yelling at the top of her voice, "WHERE'S MY PAXIL?"



**Actual document from SmithKline Beecham**




Daddy Bear was busying himself making Porridge. Baby Bear liked it when daddy made the Porridge as he always added maple syrup.

"Have you taken your Ritalin Baby Bear?" Daddy Bear asked.

"Yes daddy, with my milk as I always do each morning", replied the 9 year old Baby Bear.

"OH, IT'S ALRIGHT FOR YOU ISN'T IT. AS LONG AS YOU'VE TAKEN YOUR MEDS THEN EVERYTHING IS OKAY. WHAT ABOUT ME...WHERE'S MY PAXIL?", Mummy Bear howled.

"Calm down dear," Daddy Bear interjected.

"CALM DOWN...CALM FUCKING DOWN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN I MISS MY DOSE OF PAXIL? HAVE YOU EVER FUCKING EXPERIENCED THE BRAIN ZAPS AND NAUSEA, YOU INCONSIDERATE PRICK"

Mummy Bear was having one of those bad days thought Baby Bear.

"Okay, let's head on down to the pharmacy, the Porridge can wait, it's too hot to eat at the moment anyhow. We can take a drive down to the village and let it cool down, it will be just perfect by the time we get back", announced Daddy Bear.

Daddy Bear wasn't looking forward to driving the car, he had a fear of driving, a deep rooted problem from his childhood, his psychiatrist had told him. Daddy Bear had been prescribed Xanax, a benzodiazepine.


Goldilocks had saw the Bear family climb into the family saloon, the mother seemed like a right bitch, swearing and shouting at her husband and child.

Once the saloon had turned the corner, Goldilocks made her way toward an open window she had spied upon her approach. The sweet smell of maple syrup was overpowering. She climbed through the aperture and made her way to the kitchen where she saw three bowls of Porridge on the table.

She tested each bowl before gulping down the contents of the small child bowl, the others were just too hot.

Goldilocks was feeling comfortable in her surroundings and she lost all sense of time and fear. She sat on a chair in the lounge and flicked on the radio that was close by.

"...and we are going over to to our reporter on the scene right now. Ed, what can you tell us about the shooting?"

"Well, it appears that a woman walked into the Mahoney Drug Store about 15 minutes ago and calmly walked up to a shop assistant and shot her in the head. I've been privy to see the CCTV footage and it appears the woman had been somewhat agitated upon entering the store. It also appears that she was refused medication by one of the staff members, the video shows her trashing the store before leaving through the door. 5 minutes later she returned, walked calmly up to the shop assistant and pulled out a firearm and shot the assistant in the head. Police have secured the area and it seems another two people have been found shot in a family saloon, early indications report that it is a man and small child but we cannot confirm that just yet..."

Goldilocks knew Mahoney's Drug Store, it was just a five minute journey from her school. Oh well, she thought, probably someone with mental health problems.

She turned off the radio and headed up the stairs where she found a bed, the overpowering urge to sleep had come on like a speeding train. She lay on the bed and reached for the half empty glass of milk on the bedside cabinet, next to the glass was a box of Ritalin, she had heard of this drug before, sixteen of her classmates were taking it. She carefully opened the blister pack and, one by one, swallowed the 14 tablets.

It was to be the final sleep she would ever have.


Bob Fiddaman










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